if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
