I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
