Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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