I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
