Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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