i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
