So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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