too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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