If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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