physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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