Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
