I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
