I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
