i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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