Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude i'm inner monologue high
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
