She's JV to your varsity
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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