You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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