ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
