The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
