Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
