I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
wow bdsm is so cute
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
