OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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