Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
then he tried to convert me to islam
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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