I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Randomize
