how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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