Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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