Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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