Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
