Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
