I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
