so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
