dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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