We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my being single is dangerous.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
