u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
