Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
