so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
