bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
