She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
