miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
