yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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