what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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