lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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