It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
