ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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