New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
