i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
