I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize