A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
do nipples grow back?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
