oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
