When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
