it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize