Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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