You smell like stripper and shame
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
