I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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