Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
