What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
