I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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