How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize