I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
