If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize