im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
