Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
