i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
