curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize