Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
