Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
