i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We left an ass print on the piano.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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