You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
